Jimmy Johnston

Steelio Phoenicopterus Ruber


This spieces of human is from the coal mines of Pennsylvania. They were thought to be large pieces of coal themselves, until they began to walk out of the mines and assimilate into human society. Intelligent creatures, they've adapted to the water, and have become very good at the art of saving lives. Being of a "non-jewish" origin, it is rare to find this spieces in the Swannerpedia, but what are you gonna do? In their spare time, they enjoy doing alogrithms while masturbating to their wonders and difficulties. Their favorite foods are fresh lemons along with kasha. They contain no super powers, but are able to withstand large amounts crap, literally. There's a fable that one day, one town was full of poop, and no one could withstand it, except for the Jimmy Johnstons who sat in a coffee shop quite contently. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Jimmy Johnstons did not fight, because they had no quarrel with either side. During their travels, they have become friends with the Pete Glarous's and the Matt Watsons. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to juggle babies...


[Note: Jimmy is at the top left, having sex with 1, 2, 3...10 guys!]

[Note2: Jimmy is not gay, it was just one of those moments...]

Jason Hofberg

Rentio Phunnio Bowlio


This spieces of human comes from Washington D.C. Well actually, the area that is now called Washington D.C. Beleived to have been wandering the Earth 1000's of years ago, the Jason Hofbergs were among the caveman, playing their favorite game, bowling, with the likes of Fred Flintstone. But as time passed, the Jason Hofbergs evolved and assimilated into the modern world. Their favorite food is spagetti with butter, and as well as bowling, the Jason Hofbergs also enjoy water skiing. Through out their time, they have befriended the Andy Levine's, and have become the closests of allies. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century the Jason Hofbergs and the Andy Levines joined the fight along side the Josh Towbins, Emily Spiegels and Neil Fanaroffs. Their valor was proved in The Battle of Fourn where a battalion of Hofbergs and Levines stormed upon an encampment of Jordan Fabians and Ben Wolffs and won the battle. Scientist are baffelled by their ability to drive with unbelievable stunts...

Josh Baker

Relaxio Lazio Uh...io


This speices of human is the laziest out of all of them. They're known to be able to sit in one place for years. The most well known of the Josh Bakers, was Purple Strip Josh Baker who sat in one place for 20 years. Legend has it that the blues style of music actually developed from the early form of this speices, because of their laziness with musical instruments. Their favorite pastimes are watching paint dry, and playing Jenga. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Josh Bakers were absent from the whole seen. Apparently the though of fighting a war of words was too much for this spieces, and they went to an island and setteled it. This island is now known as Jamaica, don't ask. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to with stand the presence of their ally, the Michael Fleishmans...

[Note: The Baker located on the right, next to the Fleishman]