Jason Harris

Phacochoerus Africanus Maximus

This Spieces of human was first discovered in the African Continent many centuries ago. Known as rowdy creatures, they tend to attack other human speices and animals with an unbridled entusiasm which makes them feared creatures. To acheive a fast hunting speed, they run on both their feet and their hands, sometimes blending in with the animal speices. Stubborn creatures, they tend not to give in in spoken disputes, which usually end up with a Jason Harris squandering their enimies yelling "I'm a Turtle, I'm a Turtle!". There was only one human spieces that has been able to tame the Jason Harris's, this would be the Jessi Polsky's. The fable goes that one day, a Jason Harris was slaughtering a Jason Glickman for it's supper, when he heard a whimpering in the bushes. He walked over and found a hurt Jessi Polsky, and invited her over to eat some of the delicious Jason Glickman meat. She did, and the two speices have been close ever since. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Jessi Polsky's came under attack from the Eric Marmons and Neil Fanaroffs, and the Jason Harris's came to the Polsky's rescue. Scientist are baffeled by there abilty to inhale next to the Justin Blaufelds...


[Note: In the Picture, a Jason Harris is being executed for making a Josh Swanner watch American Idol]

Andy Levine

Ursus Maritimus Animalus


This spieces of human errupted from the volcanic insides of the Earth. Known as weilders of fire, they are the promonate speices for controlling and fighting the element of fire. Evolution (or injury) has curved their backs which allows them to gallop easier to tackle and kill their pray. They are hunters, and constantly hunt young female speices of human. You see they trick their prey by being very nice and gentle, and then out of no where they prounce on their prey. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Andy Levines did their best to stay out of the conflict. They had their own matters to busy them selves with and did care for the happenings of the World. But when their ally speices, the Jason Hofbergs were cornered during the Battle of Fourn, the Andy Levines sprang into battle burning the seamen army of Ben Wolffs and destroying the army of the Jordan Fabians. Currently they enjoy cars, their only real love. Their favorite food is convertible cake, its just a cake in the shape of a convertible. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to control fire while eating an extreme amount of Tums...