Pete Glaros

Stolidus Bardus Gero


This special species of human also belongs to the class of lifeguard. They are known as the "confusios" because whenever they begin to talk, they are unable to articulate what they're trying to say, and their sentences sound like a bunch of mumbo jumbo (yes thats a scientific term). This species originated in the Greek islands right off of the mainland of Greece. They first came into contact with other species quite recently, in 2001. Because of their confused nature, this species took a long time to develop enough to travel and communicate with others. A very recent event took place where Pete Glaros's encountered the Sarah Kenney's at a glacier. We'll neither group knew what to do, but the Glaros's started a war because of their inability to negotiate peace. They fought on the glacier, and it melted because of their war, creating the great lakes. Scientists are baffled by their ability avoid making eye contact...

Sarah Kenney

Barrio Bostwickio Cowio

This goyish speices, which belongs to the Lifeguard Class, originated from the State of Maryland, back in the 1700's during the Revolutionary Period. Originally, they were against the Colonist who wanted to revolt against the British because it was "too much work!" but in the end, they went with the mob scene and aided in the American Revolution. Living apart from the old feuds of the War of the Words of the 16th Century, these creatures remained totally unaware of this seperate world, and they live in their own sort of bliss. Their natural habitat is by a swimming pool, usually with a book in hand. However, they did come into conflict once. The Josh Swanner speices, untalked about before in this "Swannerpedia" has a long vast story that cannot be confined to merely one entry. The history is far too long and far too complicated, mostly due to the size of that speices ego. Well, to skip forward, there was once a famous fight between a Josh Swanner and a Sarah Kenney. It took place during a blizzars, when these two speices lived in the same vicintity, and one day, the Sarah Kenney was a little too bitterly sarcastic, and the Josh Swanner had enough. He broke the peace existing and took up his shovel and knocked out the Sarah Kenney cold. It was forever known throughout the land, and all remember that day, or something. Their favorite food is slurpy, any flavor, and fava beans. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to eat tons and tons of 'dirt'.


[Note: The picture was taken during the famous fight - the Sarah Kenney is on the right, being hit by the Josh Swanner]

Daniel Baker

Inconditus Parum Cervus


This spieces of human has descended from the Josh Baker clan, yet this spieces evolved. Instead of being the laziest creatures on the Earth, they are the most simple and baffeled creatures on the Earth. The tend to fall prey to gullible jokes and pranks, and can get the scorn of other meaner spieces, like the Lauren Swanners. The Neil Bergs have over time taken the Daniel Bakers under their wings to help them live, making them allies. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Daniel Bakers tried to persuade their brethern the Josh Bakers to participate in the War on the side of the Emily Spiegels, but his brother spieces would not participate. This decision also broke the alliance with the Neil Bergs, who fought along side the Paul Baransons. Naturally the Lauren Swanners decided it would be the perfect opportunity to wipe out the Daniel Bakers once and for all, but they were saved by the Michael Fleishmans in the last minute. Becuase of this, the Daniel Bakers are forever in debt to the Michael Fleishmans and are forced into slavery to them. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to blend in with a flock of field mice...


[Note: A Daniel Baker is seen being captured by a Paul Baranson during one battle during the Word Wars of the 16th Century]

Zac Dembo

Crazio Drazio Zrazio

This spieces of human was one of the first to desend from the monkeys, which explains their crazy and unpredictable way of acting. It also explains their abundance of hair. The Zac Dembo's have since the beginning of time, migrated to Baltimore Maryland, where they reside today. However, they're race have seen their share of misery. During the Ice Age their close friends and allies, the Wooly Mammouths (sometimes referred to as the Alex Plaxtens) died off, never to roam the earth again. However, this spieces played an intresting role in the War of the Words which took place during the 16th Century. Immediatley when the war broke out they joined the side of the Paul Baransons. They proved to be very deadly because they could say words so quickly and fast that many other spieces stood no chance before them (this came true during the speed battle where the Josh Towbins fell to an army of Dembos). But one thing stoped the Zac Dembos, soap and water. Yes one Emily Spiegel came up with a brilliant idea that if the Zac Dembo's were cleansed than they would not be able to spew out words at a record pace. One evening, a herd of David Richmans surrounded the Zac Dembos camp, while a team of Aaron Sidorovs and Michael Fleishmans ran in with shampoo, destroying the Dembo army. Scientist are baffleled by their ability to erouse both men and women...


[A Zac Dembo can be seen on the left, next to a Joe Kristenbergenlgestein who became aroused during a Treaty Signing Anniversery 400 years after the end of the Word Wars, where descendents from both sides of the conflict are present, being an Eric Marmon, Josh Pryves and Josh Swanner]

David Richman

Pinguis Nervous Canis


This spieces of human is an interesting breed. No one is sure where they came from, yet everyone knows this spieces, either through word of mouth, or through a personal connection. They are known to talk very fast, and ask many questions. They are also very horny humans, and tend to crave human contact 99.9% of the time. When the War of the Words broke out in the 16th Century, each side of the conflict tried hard to get the David Richmans on their side, knowing that they would be a very useful weapon against their enemies, yet the David Richmans only wanted peace and tranquility. However one day, something happened. One David Richman, we'll call him Richman, go hungry and wanted something to eat. He saw a tree filled with apples and began picking the apples and eating them with much fervor. Little did he know that the apple tree belonged to the Joe Kristenbergenlgestein clan, and with that the David Richmans came under attack by them. With no help at the time, the David Richmans sprang into action, using their skills of confusion they won the battle and quickly joined the side of the Emily Spiegels. They are reported to not have a favorite food, but to like all foods. Scientist are baffeled by the David Richmans ability to dance quite well...

Joe Kristenbergenlgestein

Ursus Arctos Horribilis


This Speices of human, descended from a long line of strict, conservative people who were rumored to have come from the other side of the atlantic: France. There they lived for many centurues until a Revolution forced them to flee for there lives. Intelligent creatures, the Joe Kristenbergenlgestein have no need to hunt for food. They just have other speices do it for them, and in return they provide advice. Their habits include writing, oratating, and occasionally singing, which they are very good at. In fact, after some years, instead of advice for food, many of the speices demanded that the Joe Kristols sing instead. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Joe Kristenbergenlgesteins were caught in the middle of the conflict. They were trying to keep peace between the Emily Spiegel and Paul Baranson factions, but after the Battle of the Fourn, they realized that war was inevitable. Ultimately they joined with the Paul Baranson, and sadly met defeat. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to swing a hula-hoop around their waist for hours on end...

[Note: This is a picture of a Joe Kristenbergenlgestein right before he is about to sing for an audience of Andi Waghelsteins, Josh Towbins, and Allison Rosenthals]

Jason Harris

Phacochoerus Africanus Maximus

This Spieces of human was first discovered in the African Continent many centuries ago. Known as rowdy creatures, they tend to attack other human speices and animals with an unbridled entusiasm which makes them feared creatures. To acheive a fast hunting speed, they run on both their feet and their hands, sometimes blending in with the animal speices. Stubborn creatures, they tend not to give in in spoken disputes, which usually end up with a Jason Harris squandering their enimies yelling "I'm a Turtle, I'm a Turtle!". There was only one human spieces that has been able to tame the Jason Harris's, this would be the Jessi Polsky's. The fable goes that one day, a Jason Harris was slaughtering a Jason Glickman for it's supper, when he heard a whimpering in the bushes. He walked over and found a hurt Jessi Polsky, and invited her over to eat some of the delicious Jason Glickman meat. She did, and the two speices have been close ever since. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Jessi Polsky's came under attack from the Eric Marmons and Neil Fanaroffs, and the Jason Harris's came to the Polsky's rescue. Scientist are baffeled by there abilty to inhale next to the Justin Blaufelds...


[Note: In the Picture, a Jason Harris is being executed for making a Josh Swanner watch American Idol]

Andy Levine

Ursus Maritimus Animalus


This spieces of human errupted from the volcanic insides of the Earth. Known as weilders of fire, they are the promonate speices for controlling and fighting the element of fire. Evolution (or injury) has curved their backs which allows them to gallop easier to tackle and kill their pray. They are hunters, and constantly hunt young female speices of human. You see they trick their prey by being very nice and gentle, and then out of no where they prounce on their prey. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Andy Levines did their best to stay out of the conflict. They had their own matters to busy them selves with and did care for the happenings of the World. But when their ally speices, the Jason Hofbergs were cornered during the Battle of Fourn, the Andy Levines sprang into battle burning the seamen army of Ben Wolffs and destroying the army of the Jordan Fabians. Currently they enjoy cars, their only real love. Their favorite food is convertible cake, its just a cake in the shape of a convertible. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to control fire while eating an extreme amount of Tums...

Jimmy Johnston

Steelio Phoenicopterus Ruber


This spieces of human is from the coal mines of Pennsylvania. They were thought to be large pieces of coal themselves, until they began to walk out of the mines and assimilate into human society. Intelligent creatures, they've adapted to the water, and have become very good at the art of saving lives. Being of a "non-jewish" origin, it is rare to find this spieces in the Swannerpedia, but what are you gonna do? In their spare time, they enjoy doing alogrithms while masturbating to their wonders and difficulties. Their favorite foods are fresh lemons along with kasha. They contain no super powers, but are able to withstand large amounts crap, literally. There's a fable that one day, one town was full of poop, and no one could withstand it, except for the Jimmy Johnstons who sat in a coffee shop quite contently. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Jimmy Johnstons did not fight, because they had no quarrel with either side. During their travels, they have become friends with the Pete Glarous's and the Matt Watsons. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to juggle babies...


[Note: Jimmy is at the top left, having sex with 1, 2, 3...10 guys!]

[Note2: Jimmy is not gay, it was just one of those moments...]

Jason Hofberg

Rentio Phunnio Bowlio


This spieces of human comes from Washington D.C. Well actually, the area that is now called Washington D.C. Beleived to have been wandering the Earth 1000's of years ago, the Jason Hofbergs were among the caveman, playing their favorite game, bowling, with the likes of Fred Flintstone. But as time passed, the Jason Hofbergs evolved and assimilated into the modern world. Their favorite food is spagetti with butter, and as well as bowling, the Jason Hofbergs also enjoy water skiing. Through out their time, they have befriended the Andy Levine's, and have become the closests of allies. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century the Jason Hofbergs and the Andy Levines joined the fight along side the Josh Towbins, Emily Spiegels and Neil Fanaroffs. Their valor was proved in The Battle of Fourn where a battalion of Hofbergs and Levines stormed upon an encampment of Jordan Fabians and Ben Wolffs and won the battle. Scientist are baffelled by their ability to drive with unbelievable stunts...

Josh Baker

Relaxio Lazio Uh...io


This speices of human is the laziest out of all of them. They're known to be able to sit in one place for years. The most well known of the Josh Bakers, was Purple Strip Josh Baker who sat in one place for 20 years. Legend has it that the blues style of music actually developed from the early form of this speices, because of their laziness with musical instruments. Their favorite pastimes are watching paint dry, and playing Jenga. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Josh Bakers were absent from the whole seen. Apparently the though of fighting a war of words was too much for this spieces, and they went to an island and setteled it. This island is now known as Jamaica, don't ask. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to with stand the presence of their ally, the Michael Fleishmans...

[Note: The Baker located on the right, next to the Fleishman]

Matt Watson

Disgusto Sarcasto Fluffy


This neanderthalike creature emerged from the caves of the Anderondex Mountains south of the border. They evolved into their current form in the 8th centery B.C.E. They used to be great hunters, until the great age of technology errupted, and the Matt Watsons left the forest to settle infront of televisions. Their apperances can fool many people, for they are extremly intelleigent creatures, and have learned how to do the least possible work to gain the most they can out of life. Because of their inginuity, they have made many friends, and have made some enimies too. The Matt Watsons still enjoy hunting down the Alex Blatters, but have become more peaceful as time has gone on. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to barf and urinate at the same time...

Daniel Engleberg

Canta Gasolina Winona


This speices of human comes from the central southern part of the country. Simple creatures, they tend to try and stay away from conflicts and do their best to stay non-active. However, when the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Daniel Englebergs came under attack and found them selves fighting along side the Michael Fleishmans and the Jackie Grads against the Paul Baransons and Josh Berses. Their intelligence helped them win the war, but because of their lazy nature, many of them died. They enjoy eclairs and tomato soup. Dancing to salsa music is their favorite pastime. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to keep a strait face while with standing the flatulents of the Michael Fleishmans...

Matt Winer

Mommio Dressio Meeo


This speices of human is part of the elite crime fighting team "Pash Binershwan". Unknowest to many people, the Matt Winer's founded the group in the 21st Century to keep peace within the world. Wanting to make this team the ultimate fighting force, the Matt Winers recruited the few Paul Baransons that were left, knowing that they were good fighters. In fact, back in the 16th Century during the Word Wars, the Matt Winers allied themselves with the Paul Baransons against the evil Emily Speigels. In a way, "Pash Binershwans" goal was to seek revenge on the Emily Speigels. To complete the team, they also got the Josh Swanners to join also. Descended from the clan of Ni, the Matt Winers are known to be excellent horseback riders. This is what they fame themselves on. There is the on fable of Gulash Winer, one from this speices, who once fell off his horse, and began to cry. It was said that his tears that touched the earth killed the grass and anything in its sight. From then on, the Matt Winers were known to have lethal tears. They enjoy eating keesh and papayas, their favorite. They have refused to have a favorite color, and have actually been in many fights because of it. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to watch crappy reality television shows more than once...


[Note: This picture depicts Gulash Winer]

Tom Geary

Rhetorico Bengalio Professoro


This speices of human comes from the Virginia area. Known for their deep knowledge of the enlgish language and the mystical ways of rhetoric, they use their powers to inform younger generations about its wisdom. Originally thought to have come out of the Bermuda Triangle, the Tom Gearys have stated over and over that they have only come from one place, the rhetorical triangle. Their favorite food is alphabet soup, and they enjoy the jumble. Thought to be descended from Plato, it was discovered that these creatures descended from Shakespeare's illegitimate son, Minogakachupi. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to continue to read while they sleep...

Anne Marie Frassica

Luhijmo Conchesimo Italiano

This non-Jewish (breaking the non-jewish barrier in this encycolpedia) speices of human is highly intelligent and comes from across the ocean. They mainly come from southern Europe, but some of them have migrated into Northern Africa. Some of them a musically inclined, which explains their habitual activity of playing the clarinet. However, they also run a lot. Now scientist are confused by this phenomena. As it turns out they play the clarient while running across the north african desserts. They enjoy eating coconuts, pasta and pesto. Their sarcastic nature causes them to be loners, which scientist do not understand to this day...

Lauren Swanner

Evilio Crazio Sistayo


This spieces of human comes from the family of the intellegent humans that appeared on the earth in the 4th Century. This particular spieces are known to be very lovely, but also very deadly. Their nails can extend and thrash about, cutting anything that is touches, even diamonds. Thought to be descendent from the fairies, this rumor was dispelled when the Lauren Swanners killed off the whole race of the Jared Kahans in the last century. They have allied themselves with the Danielle Baransons, and found themselves fighting the side of the Josh Berses during the during the Word Wars of the 16th Century. These creatures like to naturally live in the southen coastal areas of the country, but some have migrated to Maryland. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to seduce other spieces and then abandone them at a whim...

Jordan Long

Veluptio Demono Toungio
(And Paul is a tool)

This spieces of human is apart of harsher clan of the Glancolukuli that have been known to strike fear into the spieces living around them. They like to attack those that appear to be happy, or content with their life. They have pleasure in disrupting the order that is found in nature. Reclusive creatures, over time many people wouldn't dare approach them. The only ones that would were the Jill Whitmans, who found the banter of the Jordan Longs quite comical. They enjoy eating mozerella cheese, hot chocolate mix, and macaroni and cheese. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, chaos broke out in the world. Both sides were afraid to approach the Jordan Longs, but new that their help would bring about victory. The Emily Spiegels pleaded and pleaded, and then the Jordan Longs agreed to ally themselves with them. Scientist are baffeled with their harsh words, which seem to be amplified by the unusual enourmas size of their tounge...



[Note: A Jordan Long is located on the left of the picture. She is seen here in one of her screaming matches, where she is about to use her tounge to kill her opponet]

Allon Vishkin

Curluo Israelio Helloio

This foreign speices of human is new to this planet. They came into being only 100 years ago when a ship of them landed in the middle of the country. They said they had to leave their planet because of the warfare and devastation, plus the schools were bad. They have assimilated into our culture, but have held onto their funny accent that sets them apart from other types of people. Because they originally come from plante Kunkapu the Allon Vishkins are known to shoot laser beams from their eyeballs. It's a neat trick that helps them out a lot, especially in the kitchen. In their time here on this planet, they have come to ally themselves with the Neil Fanaroffs and the Aaron Franks. They helped win the skirmish against the Seamen, opening up the seas for people to use. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to learn the earthly game of chess, and how they have never lost at it...

Jordan Fabian

Frontio Repobio Wookio


This spieces of human comes from the caves of the nor. They are hairy creatures, and talk with a dog/bear like fashion. They communicate with other animals with these sounds. Because of this, they can control the wild animals of the world. Nice but crazy creatures, the Jordan Fabians are known for their thrashing and their singing abilities. They enjoy eating ginger flavored cookies and pestrami on rye. Because of their warring manor, they've come to brawl with the Michael Fleishmans. Both creatures warlike in manor have been fighting for ages. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Jordan Fabians joined the Paul Baransons and Josh Bers against the Michael Fleishmans. They survived the struggle fairly well, and even though their side lost, they escaped back to the mountains where they lived for three hundred years. Most people know them know as the cavemen of old, but that is a misnomer. They enjoy iceskating and creating card houses. Scientist are baffeled by the Jordan Fabians when they talk about how their sisters have sex for money...

Jhanna Levin

Surlio Oldio Mommio

This spieces of human is known to the class of rulers. They are known to have many connections and hold a great amount power over all of the other spieces of the human race. These creatures, smart, funny, and very commanding, have brought peace and tranquility to the earth many times. They brought an end to the Word Wars of the 16th Century, and created a treaty with the fighting sides. Known for their power of lightning strikes from their hands, no one dares provoke them. They originated from the area known as Laurel, and from there have branched out all over creation. Their favorite foods are beef jerky, and enchaladas. Scientist are baffeled by the inablity to hate these creatures. They have deemed that is against physics to hate the Jhanna Levines...

Mitch Liebeskind

Lorius Felonio Ogrio

This spieces of human is one that carries much respect in the human world. They come from the Ozarks, and have been traced back from the Kings of old. Having a large stature, these creatures are known for their ability to crush those that oppose them, and to throw their enimies far far away. However, don't let their brutish manor fool you. They are intelligent creatures, very much in tuned to the feelings of others, and our known to be more sensitive than the Opera Winerfreys. They enjoy eating ostrich eggs and bobcat meat. Due to their brutish behavior, their list of allies has grown thin. Most fear these creatures and don't bother them. Yet in their lonliness, they have become friendly with the race of the Suzanne Basses. It's caused much confusion in the human world that these two spieces should even acknowledge each other, but they have. In an attempt to regain more friendship, the Mitch Liebeskinds declared war on the Ben Wolffs, to rid their treachery from the sea so all could sail on it in peace. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to eat whole sticks of butter...

Jackie Grad

Suquismo Derudimo Gradio


This spieces of human comes from the northern area of the continents. They are known as creatures who enjoy the cold. Their skin is special, in that it keeps them warm in the coldest places. Hunting walruses and polar bears, the Jackie Grads have become very tough creatures, capable of taking on any beast in their path. At first, the Michael Fleishmans challenged the Jackie Grads, but soon learned they could not overcome their strength. When the Word Wars brok out in the 16th Century, the Michael Fleishmans and Jackie Grads joined the side of the Emily Spiegels. However, after the war was over, the Jackie Grads came under attack by the Ben Wolffs when they tried to hunt their walruses in dangerous waters. Known as strong creatures, their favorite foods are turkey, spinach and cheesecake. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to shoot darts from their mouths...

Josh Bers

Thugio Dirtio Alchohomelessio

This speices of human comes from the fighting bred of human. They came over to North America from Ireland in the early 12th Century. They came before the colonist and before any exploration. They got into a major skirmish with the people in Ireland and had to leave. In North America, they can be mainly found on the eastern coast. Musically inclined, these creatures enjoy playing guitar, while doing not much of anything else. They are known to be very dirty creatures. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Josh Berses and the Paul Baransons united together in their fight against the Emily Spiegels. Their struggle ended with a bitter defeat, but some of these two spieces still remain. They still keep a very close alliance with each other. Ridiculed for their laziness, the Berses are actually very intelligent. In spite of what others think, inventions of the toilet and the internet can be attributed to the Josh Berses. Their favorite foods include wings, and lots of them. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to put their enimies in a deathly leg lock, which no one can seem to escape from...

[Note: The Josh Bers can be seen at the bottom, with the spoon. Above him is his closest ally, a Paul Baranson]

Molly Tannen

Sughio Eyutno Huggio

This spieces of human originates from the mid-east. They are very kind creatures, and our known for their tight, and sometimes deadly hugs. They perform a weird practice in which they swim very fast to this island in the patapsco river where they run around naked and kill Michael Fleishmans for their food. It's an ancient ritual that has been performed for many centuries. They burn the Fleishman meat in a special way, because the Molly Tannens beleive an evil spirit is trapped in the meat. Their main allies are the Danielle Baransons. These creatures are also very intelligent. They can tie many knots and are proud of it. In fact they are the source for knots in all the world. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to tie a knot that could hold five Michael Fleishmans...

Aaron Sido

Tumio Artio Monkio

This spieces of human comes from the crisp of the tropical/city area of the south east. They are thought to be closely related to the monkey spieces. Their similar qualities can be seen with their movement and speech. When they move, they jump around, and sometimes on people. They are known to be very loyal, and good friends. Also known to be very artistic, the Aaron Sidorovs enjoy creating beutiful priceless works of art, while giving in to their monkey instincts and hurling their own fieces at a wall. Their favorite foods include lasagna and tiramasu. Through their travels they have allied themselves with the Josh Towbins and the Eric Marmons, but have joined the battle against the Seamen, the Ben Wolffs. Scientist are baffeled with their ability to hit a baseball very far, while at the same time eat twenty bananas...

Paul Baranson

Thugio Billiam Sanchezio

This hardcore speices of human comes from the innercity areas of the country. They are very rare, and are hard to find. Many of the Paul Baransons have been wiped off the earth due to their badluck, and persistant enimies. However, about twenty remain, due to their ability to survive and continue to live out their harsh life. Known to have a chill but dirty look, this speices of human can pull off wearing the same shirt for three to four years. They enjoy strumming the guitar and sampling cheese. Surprisingly, they are very good swimmers. Their allies are the Josh Berses. Their natural enemies are the clean and happy Emily Speigels, because the Paul Baransons just can't stand to see people happy. Scientist are baffeled by their ablity to use a golf club as a useful weapon, and their inability to hit the actual golf ball that far...

Andi Wagelstein

Kirunimo Frutishio Climio

This funny species of human comes from the other side of the atlantic, mainly the polish area of Europe. They are known to be very sarcastic, but happy creatures. You are most likely to see this speices clinging to a wall, trying to climb it, or merely trying to pee their mark onto the wall. There mark looks like this "@". Eating only maiz and cheetos, this species has an orange glow, which allows them to make dark places lighter. Their ally are the Nina Grosses, but their predators are the Eric Marmons, Josh Towbins and Neil Fanaroffs. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to pop a squat and lay golden eggs...

[Note: Andi is located in the middle with the yellow shirt. She is surrounded by her predetors, and on the right is a very very handsome guy with a yellow shirt too]

Suzanne Bass

Greensio Idiotio Wifimmus

This speices of human came from the homey country of northeastern plains where they're known to play the musical instrument of the clarinet. Nice creatures, their number one passion is food. They love it, simply put. If you put a cookie in front of them, it will be gone in under two seconds. They can sometimes get grumpy and agitated with those around them and "lash out" harshly, sometimes ripping off peoples faces. Scientist have tried to find out why they become so violent at times, and some have died trying to find out, including the famed crocadile hunter Steve Irwin. Apparently his last words were, " 'hy di' she caul' me an ido't fo' loo'kin in a crocs mou'th?". Their docile and sweet nature can disguise these attacks. Collard greens is their favorite food, and they enjoy knitting...

Captain Eric Marmon

Tushio Philio Eaglio

This sea scurvy, seven seas speices of human originates from the early 17th century in our history. Generally thought to be from a rare island in the Pacific, their original location can be pinpointed to the eastern coast of Pennsylvania. Sarcastically funny creatures, they are none to spew "jackass" like remarks from their mouths. But don't let that fool. They can also act very lovingly, and sometimes show kindness to some creatures. Their predators are the race of Ben Wolffs, the seamen that battle the Captains vessels. Their allies are the Josh Towbins. Scientist are baffled by their love for the drink Red Bull, which is neither satisfying or any good...

Jessi Polsky

Tuwisto Krumio Japio

This knowledgable speices of human descended from the Panda family, originally from the eastern part of the world. They're funny creatures, for they flinch when a certain spot of their neck is touched. Generally shy, they like to curl up and throw knives at their enemies. As drivers, they tend to fall in the not so good category, but seem to get to their destinations in one piece. They enjoy eating apples and beaver meat, not the raw meat mind you. They are known to be hard working, but can sometimes have spurts of extreme laziness. During the Word Wars of the 16th Century, the Jessi Polsky's broke their friendship with the Emily Spiegels and joined the fight on the side of the Paul Baransons. Their close alliance, the Jason Harris' came to their rescue when they were almost wiped out by the Eric Marmons and Neil Fanaroffs. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to use their large brain to speed read lots and lots and lots and lots...

[Note: Jessi is on the left, next to that handsome handsome man on the right]

Alyssa Quigley

Badunkio Volicimo Childlikeio

This timid speices of human often resides in highly populated areas. They are known to be generally nice, but sometimes forgetful and absentminded. However, their main activity includes digging. They like to dig holes. Scientist have no idea why they do, but for some reason, this speices can always go back to digging a hole. Some think it's because they have forgotten what they were suppose to do and that when that occurs, they just dig, dig, dig. It's rumored that the Grand Canyon was actually carved out by an ancient tribe of Quigleys. They mainly eat squash, blueberries and deer. They do however, practice a strange ritual of looking at their butts (which are larger than normal) in a mirror for long periods of time...

Neil Berg

Mulrio Etustito Donkio

The speices of human thats known for prancing around the open feilds of the piedmont. Currently, many of them reside near Wisconsin, but some are spread about the country. Thought to be related to centaurs, these creatures yelp and scream "donkey!" over and over again. They enjoy eating carrots, bananas, and skittles. Scientist don't understand why they always have a smile on there face. Some beleive that it's because they're always in a state of complete hapiness...

Jason Glickman

Quinnio Eruditio Shortio

This cave dwelling speices of human is known to do a lot of work in the earth. They clean up and organize nature, so that the ecosystems in place and continue to grow and flourish. Their allies in nature are bunny rabbits, and their predetors include bears, lions and Michael Fleishmans. Eating a strict diet of cellary and eggplant, they're healthy creatures. Scientist cannot understand their affinity to break dancing. They seem to do a lot of it, which puzzles many animals in the forest and beyond...



[Note: Glickman is the one sitting in the chair with the red shirt]

Ben Direwolff

Dulifio Vernio Seamanio

This speices of human are known to dwell by the sea. They are the keepers of the secrets of the Ocean. Thought to be communist, they appear to lean closer to the socialist side. They like to eat seaweed, catelope and swordfish. Sometimes, they go underwater for long periods of time, and are known to frolic with the merpeople of the deep. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to breath underwater, making them known to be the very rare speices on this earth known as Seamen...


[Note: Ben is 3rd on the right for the Churchill Group]

Emily Spiegel

Lorius Notabilis Chattermis

This species of human was found wandering in and out of shops in Manahattan, it's native home. It demonstrates it's knowledge of vocabulary all the time, but forgets it when playing scrabble. Watch out! You never want to have Starbucks in your hands when you come across this animal or you may well be attacked! During the 16th century, this spieces came into contact with the Paul Baransons. On one day, during a game of scrabble, a war broke out between the two speices of humans. A dispute over the word "fourn" turned into a bitter fight, which turned into an all out war. Both spieces began gathering up allies and trying to out do the other. The allies for the Emily Spiegels were the Jordan Longs, Michael Fleishmans, Josh Towbins, Aaron Sidoravs, Jackie Grads, and other spieces. The explosion of war changed the face of the world forever. After it ended, the Emily Spiegels moved the Ney York City, where they still wander today. Scientist are baffeled that despite these creatures massive intelligence, they get lost very easily...


[Note: The Emily Spiegel in the picture is located in the middle, and is being tortured by a Paul Baranson on the left and a Jeff Williams on the right. This picture is beleived to be dated back to the Word Wars.]

Jill Whitman

Papio Minutio Crazio

This rare species of person was thought to be extinct, until one was found on the Galapagos islands and brought back to Maryland. Their behavior consist of jumping, fast talking, squirming and generally funny and sometimes inciteful comments. Sarcastic, but caring creatures, they are known to be "wise" and "helpful" everyonce in a while. They befriended the Jordan Longs, because they were basically the only creature that the Jordan Longs could sustain. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Jill Whitmans originally tried to stay out of the conflict, but joined on the side of the Emily Spiegels when they came under attack by the Matt Winers, Molly Tannens and Jordan Fabians. These three speices were trying to kill off the Jill Whitmans, because they knew how powerful they were. If it were not for the Jordan Longs that came to the rescue of the Jill Whitmans, they could have been wiped out. Their wisdom had been fabled to win the war for the Emily Spiegels. Scientist are baffeled by their ability to read a book from beginning to end, in that order...

Neil Fanaroff

Gruffio Redskinio Neilio

This quiet speices of human comes from the Mountain Ranges of the West. They tend to have spurts of excitement which leads to lashing out and thrashing at people. Generally, they're compassionate and are good willed. They like to eat mangos and marlin. The color red excites this type of human, baffling leading scientist to this day...

Michael Fleishman

Buwio Slowio Fatimatio

This grisly speices of human has long been known to the world as the large, but lovable race of men. They appear to not know whats going on around them, but don't let that fool you. Underneath the layer of confusion, lies an intelligent mass of power, that doesn't come through it's exterior to often. Usually known to frolic in grassy fields, this type of human also enjoys octopus meat, and reading internet law. They dwell in the south plains, at the foot of the mountaineous regions where they bath all day long...

Nina Gross

Rutio Jewshio Hippiyo

Often found in the woods, this speices of humans habitat is mainly the forest in the Appalation. Curiously, they were discovered originally when the Grateful Dead toured the country, but after the death of Jerry Garcia, they have migrated back into the woods. Some of them can be found in Ben & Jerrys Icecream places, but most of them have disappeared. Now, their manorisms include playing the guitar, and are generally not worried about what is occuring in their surroundings. They enjoy flamingos and jelly beans. Scientist are baffled by the speices wanting of raga (the essence of music)...

Allison Rosenthal

Quinimo Shopio Tanius

This class of human consists of a spieces that comes from the Amazocio. They are leaf eaters, and move in a dance like fashion. Their skin is a tan color, from long exposure to false UV rays. They are a generally gracious type of human, which have led them to become friends with the Jessi Polskys and the Nina Grosses forming the triad alliance. When come under attack by the agressive but artful Aaron Sidorovs, the Triad Alliance teamed up the Ben Wolffs and began feuding for many centuries. When the Word Wars broke out in the 16th Century, the Allison Rosenthals found themselves sided with the Josh Berses and Paul Baransons, alos known as the loosing side. They survived the ordeal, and migrated to the Louisiana Territory where they can be found today. Scientist are baffeled by their fascination with laying around all the time...


[Note: Allison Rosenthal is located on the right, next to a very Jessi Polsky that is not sober]

Josh Towbin

Crucio Dudio Maximo

This speices of human is classified as having long hair and sandles. They are big eaters, and can sometimes be lazy. Yet this spieces has a laid back, almost "dude" like look out on life and are usually happy people. These creatures came into being around the same time as the Great Change of the 4th Century. They settled in what is now know as Maryland, and have made many allies since then. Some of them include the Captain Eric Marmons, the Neil Fanaroffs, and the Aaron Sidorovs. They tend to be peaceful creatures but were mixed up in the Word Wars of the 16th Century, in which they fought along side the Emily Spiegels, the Michael Fleishmans, Jackie Grads and their allies against the Paul Baransons, Josh Berses, Nina Grosses and the Andi Waghelsteins. They are known to be able to jump incredible heights with their strong legs. Scientist are baffeled with their ability to talk extremly rapidly...